Freshman Year Run Down

About three weeks ago, I was spelunking in Southern Indiana, as one does. When I first saw the entrance to the cave, I was intimidated but thought “eh no big deal, it gets easier once we get down there”. As we make our way down the cave, I realize that it was in fact not just the beginning and contrary to what the people told me, it was not a “beginner caving trip”. I make way down the cave, I’m thinking, “Ok, I think I’m getting the hang of this” but then it's time to go back up and here I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

You might be wondering why I am telling you this story but as I reflect on the past year at college, I feel that it is a great metaphor for my first year. Just a little background, I am a first-year engineering student at Purdue University. I am from a very small town in Upstate New York, so going to a school of about 50,000 people was quite daunting, like seeing the entrance of the cave. I knew I wanted to go somewhere farther away but nothing prepared me until I got my hands dirty and was fully immersed in the school. After the first few weeks of my first semester, I thought I was getting the hang of this whole thing, I was meeting great people, enjoying my classes, and overall enjoying everything Purdue had to offer. Just like when I was in the cave and there was just some slight sliding and crawling. That was until my first round of exams hit. I failed an exam for the first time in my entire life. I felt alone and not smart enough to be a Purdue engineer. This was at the point in the cave where I was sliding down in between two rocks, feeling like I should never have gone on this trip. I realized I wasn’t the only one who was struggling in the cave just like I wasn’t the only one struggling with school. The Women in Engineering program at Purdue connected me with my peers, upperclassmen, and alumni who have felt the same defeat. I took a breath and readjusted to my life (and the cave). I turned things around; I consistently started going to professor’s office hours, supplemental instruction sessions, study groups, and so forth. I finally felt like I had succeeded. I made it to the end of the cave. Like Newton said, what goes up must come back down, I mean, I guess I was in a cave, so I had to go back up technically, but my point is that I still had another semester to go.

I thought after my first semester I had everything figured out. Spoiler alert: that was not the case. While there was less figuring out the logistics of college, the actual content of my classes was so much harder, just like how I was now familiar with the cave and everyone told me that going up was easier, but I would beg to disagree. This past semester I learned two coding languages with zero previous coding experience, I took calculus 2 (don’t ask me what a polar coordinate is), physics, and my general engineering class. Overall, my classes have been much more challenging than semester one. Getting out of the cave of semester two has been extremely tough. Every time I think I get my footing right and that I have everything figured out, there is just another rock to get over. 

As I end my freshman year of college, despite the number of humps I had to get over, I would not trade where I am today for the world. College has been the hardest thing I have ever loved. As I exited the cave, I was so proud of myself for trying something so out of my comfort zone, similar to the way I am leaving college. There were times where it was scary, lonely, exhausting, but it was also exciting, fun, and I have grown so much within the past 8 months. I have gotten involved in various ways like on the Women in Engineering Leadership team, a club called STEMpower, where we introduce STEM to young kids, the Outing Club of course, and I will be an orientation leader next school year. I have had access to so many opportunities, met so many people, and learned so many things I would not have if I stayed within my comfort zone. If you take one piece of advice from this blog, let it be this, get comfortable being uncomfortable (and maybe check the definition of a beginner caving trip).

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